Unwritten

07-06-10 Cause To Come Undone Without Warning Is To Lose What We've Found, originally uploaded by ƅethan.

So I had an advisement meeting with my school college counselor yesterday to plan out the rest of my courses. I had not realized until yesterday that I have passed the half-way point of college and am now on the downward slope. I have 2 semesters left until student teaching and 3 semesters left total until I graduate. SCARY! I have no idea what it is I actually want to do. I mean, I'm a special education major so the obvious answer is to teach a special ed. class. However, I know I do not want to do that. I wouldn't mind teaching at the highschool level and perhaps on the gifted side of things. Say. . . a high school english teacher at Hardaway? That would make life too grand.

But the problem is, I have spent my life imagining that I would be in some serious relationship at this point. I would be engaged by my senior year of college and getting married shortly thereafter. That is simply not the case. I have delayed making definitive decisions about my future thinking that whatever my husband's plans were would guide my decisions. I have no husband, boyfriend, or even prospective interests. I have me. I have God. And I have decisions to make.

In my view, I have a few options. I could. . .
A- Teach. I could stay in town and take any job I could get at a local school. I have connections here so it would probably be smart to use those while I can rather than leave and have less opportunity.
B- YoungLife. I could go on YoungLife staff and be an intern for 3 years and make a "career" out of it. Truth be told, I am most passionate about YoungLife at this point in my life. However, I am scared. I'm scared of rejection- of them not wanting me. I'm scared of the unknown- going somewhere completely new to me and starting a life. and I'm scared of failing- what if I'm not good at the staff side of ministry? Living with Aubrey- a current staff associate, I have a pretty good feel for what it would be like but all I know is Columbus.
C-Masters. I could get my masters in Christian Counseling or English Education. If I choose that route I'll have additional decisions to make like Columbus? Atlanta? Savannah? Athens?

All I know for now is there is a great white slate before me waiting to be written. I'm not anxious to begin my future now because I am content in my sweet little life at Peacock. I suppose I just am realizing that my future is not going to decide itself, i'm going to decide it with God as my aide. "For He knows the plans He has for me. . .plans to give me a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11